[Nano novel] Chapter Eight: The City of the King.

Comments

[this is good]
Damn lady, I don't see what your apologizing for. I dont think this is as rough around the edges as you seem to believe it is. Look at the facts. they have been traveling all day. Ava and Tal have been through this strange, life altering, mystical, impossible thing that brought them to this world. As such what they notice and their attention span wouldn't necessarily be sharp enough to note every detail..... I think this turned out good. we see through Ava's eyes how Tristan appears to become more regal and apart of this castle. We see through Ava's eyes how Taliesin is distant, aloof but still kind. And we see Ava's own irritation, aggravation and utter exhaustion.

It turned out better then you thought missy!!!Don't be so hard on yourself.!

Keep up the good work and I am anxiously awaiting more!

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caffeinatedelf

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caffeinatedelf
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